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Domestic violence has reached epidemic proportions, taking a tremendous physical and emotional toll on women across the spectrum of socio-economic status and age.
Women in the United States are more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped or killed by a current or ex-partner than all other types of assailants combined. Ten to 22 percent of all couples report some type of abuse in their relationship, often beginning in the early stages of the relationship and escalating in frequency and severity over time. Pregnancy seems to be a particularly vulnerable time for women, with abuse beginning during pregnancy.
Although the telltale markings of physical abuse - black eyes, bruises, strangle marks, broken bones and other injuries - are the most visible signs of abuse, they often go unreported and unrecognized.
A less tangible, but equally damaging form of abuse to which women are subjected, is psychological abuse. Victims of psychological abuse may experience a high incidence of depression and suicidal ideas, possibly even attempt suicide; often turn to abusing substances; and have chronic fatigue, anxiety, nightmares or sleeping and eating disorders.
Unfortunately, if there are children involved in the violent relationship, they too often become victims. Many young children are unintentionally injured during a violent episode between the adults. Other older children may be injured when they step in, trying to prevent or stop the violence from happening.
Like adults, children who witness domestic violence experience short term and long term effects on their physical and mental health. They may exhibit chronic health problems, behavioral disorders, mental illness, and are more likely to repeat the cycle of violence by acting out in a violent manner.
Patterns of Abuse
Abuse often follows three patterns: tension building up, explosion or beating phase and the loving phase. During the tension build up phase, there may be a series of small occurrences that upset the abuser. When the tension gets too great, the abuser strikes out at the victim, punching, kicking, choking, knifing or slamming or throwing her against the wall or floor. Guns are also sometimes used. After the beating, the couple moves to the third phase where the abuser is repentant and remorseful of what he has done and assures the victim he will never hurt her again. She believes him and hopes he will change. However, even with professional help, the cycle of violence is hard to break.
Women stay with their abusive partners for many reasons including fear, guilt, shame and social and economic pressures. Some women feel like they have nowhere else to go. Some stay for the children. Some stay because they still love their husbands and hope someday things will change.
Taking Action
The first step toward escaping an abusive situation is admitting to yourself you are being abused and that you have a right to feel safe from physical harm, especially in your own home.
Steps you may wish to take include:
- Hide emergency money.
- Hide an extra set of keys.
- Keep important documents where you can easily access them.
- Keep the telephone number of the local police handy.
- Arrange for a place to go should tension begin to mount.
- During an attack, defend yourself and call the police as soon as you can. (Get the names and badge numbers of the officers in case you need a record of the attack.)
- Gather your children and get out of the house.
- Take care of any injuries (document injuries with photographs for legal charges.)
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